Thursdays Weigh in 318.5

318.5. yeah finally a pound!!!! Plus I have Aunt flow, and i was dumb and drank a whole bottle of water before i weighed in. Oh well, still its a whole Pound!!!!!! I am so happy that i am losing weight still. Bad news though, i am still a liar. since last week i have only worked out twice. So i owe heather $5.50 because i was trying a new way of motivating myself. I told her that everyday i don't work out i would owe her a dollar, and i have to work out for a half hour. so that's how you have the 50 cents in there. I just don't know why i cant get into a good routine. I know i need to work out to lose the weight i want to, but i find every excuse in the book. I know i have to keep working at it, i just don't know why i make silly excuses. This week i didn't make time for it, because i have been moving. But come on, you can always find 30 minutes in your day. How do you guys work in a work out daily? or do you even do that? what motivates people to work out? I know i am on the right track with eating. That i am doing great at, i have no worries about food right now. But again like i said the work out is the second part to losing the weight and being healthy, because 318.5 is not healthy and i need to make healthy who i am.

*picture ( so i heard that allot of you guys like the pictures of Amy and i because its harder to tell Amy and i apart. so here are so more younger pictures of us. Yes after 2002 its alot easier because she cheated with the gastric by-pass.) :) love you guys!!!!!

Thursdays weigh in! 319.7

319.7 so only .03lbs this week. which i am going to stay positive and say its still a loss and i am still losing. just hit that darn little plato. So for the second week we are still at a count down of 47 weeks, but we can do it. Heather i am sorry that i didn't want to answer that i worked out or not....I'm Sorry..... I have just been really down that i am not losing the weight that i was at first. But i know i am still losing weight. Thank you heather for the support and kicking me in the ass today. I am a slacker, that's how i got to be the way i am today. so its really hard to change something after 26 years,but i have been working on it. I am sorry i couldn't keep my promises. This week has been tough, but you know there will always be another excuse. So i promise, i WILL do my best to work out even for just a half hour EVERYDAY. Promise, no lying this time. I have to do it for me though, that's really the only way i am going to change. The texts are really nice. So thank you. Elise you are great to with everyday asking what i ate the day before and asking if i worked out. Thanks you guys. Really i would have given up already without the support. I would normally just let it slid for a week and then tell everyone that i have been off the diet ( life change). that way i didn't feel that bad. I guess i looked at it that way. If no one had noticed that i wasn't doing right for a week, then i was in the clear to eat and do what i wanted. And i would start the darn life change another day. So thank you! Thanks for telling me its not ok to miss three days of a work out. thank you for following up everyday to make sure i ate right. Hey no chocolate in 9 weeks, or soda, chips, candy. no junk food or fast food. Which has been great. REALLY YOU GUYS ARE GREAT.

thursdays weigh in 320.0

Here it is, 320.0. only a half pound loss. But on the bright side i didn't gain but i still loss something. So the count down is still 47 weeks till total goal.

*picture 2003 before Amy had the gastric by pass. See she was chunky like me at one time. In this picture i was 280ish.

This ones for you Carol!

So i have been saying for awhile now that i am going to start waking up and working out in the mornings and at night. Honestly i hate working out on the treadmill for 45 minutes. So i tried on Monday to wake up and work out, which i did but didn't work out at night. Yesterday i just was to tired. so i decided today to start pushing myself( motivating) and i am now working out for my sister who passed away 13 years ago today. So that i know i will really try. So this morning i woke up at 4am walked on the treadmill for 20 minutes. For you that don't know i have to be to work at 5:30, my sleep i love and that extra minute of shut eye is just for me. But again i am working on changing who i am, so this is the next step. I work out on the treadmill almost everyday but i hate going over 30 minutes. But when i got home today i walked for 45 minutes. So i am really trying. I figure as long as i work out a total of an hour every day i should be fine. and if i feel like doing more then i will but an hour is what i am aiming for. Also i am going to start a count down to my ultimate size of 180. so instead of 12 months we are going to count weeks. so i have 47 weeks till i get there if i continue to lose 3lbs a week. I understand i will hit a point where i will stop losing weight and when i do i will stop the count until i start to lose again. But i thought it would be fun, like how you count down to a holiday or time off. Let me know what you guys think. Thanks again you guys.

Thursdays weigh in! 320.5

Ready for this.......320.5. I did it, i really thought this week i was going to stay the same. I am so happy i did lose weight. Which makes this weeks weight loss 3.2 lbs.... a total of 29.5 lbs in 7 and a half weeks. Not bad. Thanks again you guys for the help. I did have a little worry today. I know i have a problem with using food to make me happy. and i saw one of my co-workers eating dove chocolate and just really enjoying it. I really thought to myself "wow that looks so good, and she looks so happy. I wont ever be able to be happy like that again." With further reflection i know that food was a replacement to fill the void in my life that makes me content. But i also know how much happier with life i will be, once i am a smaller size. I hate not going out and doing things because i am afraid of where will i sit, or can i walk with the group and not fill like a fat ass because i am huffing and puffing. I do know that I don't need food to make me happy. Its just who i was. I was the person that had food for comfort. I just have to work till its no longer who i am and learn to work threw emotions like a skinny person. I have to find what it is that they do or think during those down times. Because if they ate what i did when i was upset they would be just as big as I. But i know its a work in progress and i haven't given in, or i wont give in. But knowing that i was even thinking the way i was, really scares me. So i know that a part of me wants to give up, but I am not because a bigger part of me knows that i am doing so well. I know that i have to take it one day at a time and any addict goes threw the same emotions , feelings that i am going threw now. As long as i am honest and realize i still have a problem and not give in, things will be fine. There is no falling off the wagon for me this time. Really it just gets harder and harder to quit every time you try to jump back on the wagon. Don't worry, just letting you again know the truth. I wont give up!

*Picture- Christmas 2007.

Worried

So i am thinking that this week i really haven't lost any weight. OK honestly i have weighed myself and i gained 4 lbs this last week. i think its because of all the change and being sick last week didn't help. I know i have to wait till Thursday but I am really thinking i have gained. I know i will move up and down a little. Anyways i finally started working out again today. That cold really kicked my butt, all i wanted to do was sleep. Jamie C showed me a new site that i am going to track my calories and what i ate for the day. its http://www.sparkpeople.com/. That site is great, it just tracks everything. more motivation you know. Plus Jamie and Keven are really trying to lose weight. Cody stoped texting me my reminders also. I think it just cause he went on vacation. We will see if he starts texting again. Thanks again you guys for all the support. The snow will be gone soon and i can start walking the canyon or Logan trail.

*Picture dec-08, amys christmas party. I hate ugly pictures!!!!!!!!!

Lots going on

So this week will be fun. Learning my old job again and getting a whole new team. I really have a love hate relationship with change sometimes. But it keeps life interesting. I am also going to start working out at curves this week. Plus i have to look for a second job, so that i can keep my cna licences. I have to work 200 hours before June and i keep putting it off. Plus maybe sometime this month my house will be done and JP and i will move in. So yeah lots of change. But i will stick with my diet and keep working towards my goals. Oh yeah the pictures i have been adding so far don't match up to the dates. Really the reason i have been adding pictures is just to show who i am. Honestly i hate pictures and normally any pictures i find of myself i delete because i hate how big i am. So its another way of me facing the truth. This picture was of JP and i June of 2007 at Disneyland. I had a OK time, but didn't get to ride all the rides i would have liked because of my weight. I think in this picture i was around 230, but don't quote me on that. I also stand behind people allot so the camera doesn't see all of me, you will see that in picture as well.