Thusdays weigh in 315.00.

So yeah i have lost, and i am retaining water this week also (if you know what i mean). so don't be shocked with next week if i lose 3 or more lbs! Anyways, i could have gotten rid of more weight if it wasn't for the disruption in my schedule. I didn't cheat, but i ate after 8 due to getting off of work at a late time. But it could have been worse i could have gotten of at the 10 pm shift. so anyways my thing is routine, routine , routine. I don't do so well with the whole changing of shift, at least not for now. But it was only a four day thing and Nathan has me back on Am! So Freaking happy now that i am back. I like learning new things and being over new people because its a growing experience, but i really like my spot on am over one on one. Love that campaign you guys. I know some of you guys have no idea what i am talking about, sorry bout that. But for the ones who know me, they know what i am talking about. O h yeah i am really getting married this year in October. I swear i wont put it off another year guys. I think if i keep losing and feeling better about the way i look i can go and have the big wedding i want. Thanks Guys!

Picture_Last Tuesday the 17th of march 2009. 317lbs last week.

317.5 thursday weigh in

Sorry you guy that this one is short. I don't have much time to write about my 2 pound weight gain. My fault though, partied on Tuesday and cheated. But it was well worth it and i haven't cheated since. But i did allot of drinking. I will work my ass of cause now i have lots of morning time to work out. So watch next week will be an improvement.

Thursdays weigh in!!!!! 315.2 and its a gain

315.2 a gain of 0.1 pound. Oh well, i did what i normally do. I guess i need to increase the work outs just a little more. This is my first week to gain since i started but its not a big gain. not even a pound, its ok. this week i will just work harder at it. It surprising how i am not devastated by this. I just wanted to mention a thanks to a big support at work Jody, she has been giving me phase everyday telling me to keep the good work up. She has been doing this since she found out i have been trying to lose weight. Even the times that i said i was going to stick with it and never did she was there to support me and i greatly appreciate it. And a big thank you to you! thanks Jody for being there and not letting me give in this time. I am glad there are people in my everyday life that are that to cheer me on and tell me how much they are admiring how well i have done. The positive reinforcement is great. But Heather you can yell at me all you want because i still need that kick in the butt every now and then. Ok maybe a little more then that, but i still need that also. Thanks you guys.

Feeling a little down in out

So i don't know if i am feeling low about losing weight because i am tired from moving or the stress from work but i really had that bad feeling the last couple of days of just giving up. I haven't given up or given in, just want to veg and eat junk food. I know if i give in i will gain all the weight back, so i don't give in. I am so aware of what i get and how much i eat, that i believe that's why i am losing weight. Because before i would just pick out what looked good and make it for dinner. Now i think about how much calories and fat i am eating. I limit my salt in take. Plus no sweets ( Love my chocolate!!!!). But i know even if i eat something that is low fat and sugar i would eat tons because that's who i am. if i made low fat pudding i would eat all four servings the box makes without even thinking about it. Or if i buy the bag of candy that's no sugar i would wind up eating the entire bag by the end of the day or at least in two to three days. which still isn't that good. That's why i have taken all the crap out. But i miss eating anything and not thinking about it. which i think it sounds crazy when i write about it, but its what i feel. I also keep having crazy dreams about going off my life change, like last night i dreamt about eating a whole bag of laze barbecue chips. And i swear to you i can taste them now, But i know i didn't sleep walk and eat a bag because we don't have that type of stuff in my house.
Also i had a sweet tooth when i went the store the other day and bought honey. For some odd reason i wanted honey and i have been eating like 3 tbs everyday. its like 65 calories for on spoon full. it doesn't fill me up, just makes me satisfied for a second. I know honey is all natural, but is this craving of sugar a bad thing. I know when i quit smoking i craved them every once in a while and i knew if i gave in that i would have to start again. Is the honey going to be my down fall?
Another big thing right now is that i don't have Internet because quest is simple and keeps messing up my work order. I should have had Internet last week! So i don't have my outlet of talking to people online about my struggles or talk on my blog about my worries. Honestly i just want to keep going and Finish what i have started. I don't want to let the weight win, that is my biggest fear. So i have really just been frustrated about life for about two weeks now. The move, not having lots of people to talk to at work because we now only have three people there, quest being simple, and just the everyday crap is getting to me for a second. I cant wait till the dumb snow to go away AGAIN, so i can go walking in the canyon or on Logan trail. It a good way to let go of the stress.

Thursdays weigh in!! 315.1

Hey hey hey, I am losing more again. sweet. 315.1. so 3.4 lbs. told you aunt flow and the water had a big impact on last week weigh in. So the count down is now at 45 weeks left. Yeah. So i have lots of new things in my life, new house is the biggest thing right now. Any ways Kins told me to write who is who on those previous pictures between Amy and i. I don't think its really that hard but here it is Feb 26 i am in the brown jacket and the bottom pic i am in the red shirt. Feb 19 i am the one in the back in the brown flower shirt. Feb 12Th the tan sweater and Feb 11 i am on the left in the white shirt.

*PICTURE- Bottom picture in Decmber 2006 ish, Amy had the surgery 2 years before this picture was taken. She was 291 when she had it done and 165 in this picture " lowest wieght she got to". But in this picture i was at least 290-300. The other pictures are right after amy surgery this was in october of 2004 so a month after the surgery, i am in the white hoodie. But i was around 275-280ish. I look so young in this picture i think.