So guess what i am married and now prego. yeah!!!!!!! But i will not let that allow me to gain all that weight back. I haven't really been tring to maintain my weight since the last blog. But now my good friend Jen is trying to lose weight and i want to get back on the right track. I know being prego i really cant lose that much weight but i can still maintain what i am at. the doc says its ok for me to lose 10 pounds but not any more due to the baby. I am due May 16th 2010.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
thursdays weigh in 295.6
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Thursdays Weigh in 297.5
Ouch, the biggest weight gain i have had since i have started. 7.5 lbs is huge! I know water weight because aunt flow will be here tomorrow. But the number one factor stress. My job is changing big time ( lost my manager spot from down sizing) but i still have my job. the wedding is getting closer. I had to spend more money on a washer and dryer then i wanted to. I just feel very over whelmed and Thursday and Friday i fell off the wagon again. It seems like that happening allot lately. I feel like i don't have the will power i did in the beginning. I just have to keep reminding myself that i don't want to go back. i want to continue losing weight and not losing the battle. I ts just hard at times and this last two months have been really hard.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
thursdays weigh in 290.00
yeah another 2 lbs. sorry i didnt blog last week. It was the forth of july weekend. Its getting closer now for the wedding. less then 3 months to go. wow, cant believe it.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
thursdays wiegh in 292.1
Monday, June 22, 2009
thursdays wiegh in ( ok so i am late on this!) 297.7
yeah so i gained again last week. 1.7 lbs. Honestly i am still cheating, fell off the darn wagon and taking my time to get back on i feel like. Last week i was still eating after 7, some days till 11am. umm ate Doritos, crumble coffee cake, star bucks, and cinn buns. Yeah i really feel off the darn wagon, but i am trying to be good today. Today i can just jump back on and try again. I know i can do it. I need to keep going. and sorry heather for snapping about my blog. I just don't like to admit to failure. It sucks and i only have one person to blame, me. I am the one that is hindering my success and i am the only one that can put me back on track. Want to hear another secret, ummm i haven't worked out in a month. again i WILL work out tonight. at least for a half hour. I think i set standards to high and feeling a little down and out cause of those standards. If i just keep going a lose or stay the same then i will be happy. No more of expecting to lose 3 lbs a week or forcing myself to work out for three hours a day. I wanted to keep up with the biggest loser and that isn't realistic. Sorry you guys for letting you down. Mostly sorry for letting myself down and giving up on myself. I have to be better to myself and give myself a chance to live!
Thursday, June 11, 2009
thursdays weigh in. 296.00
i cheated....again!!!!!! eating after 7pm. Next week will be better. Jusdt stressed that jp might be losing his job, but thats not an excuse. Talk to you all later.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Thursdays Weigh in 293.7
Yeah four lbs this week. Not bad. I have 2 more lbs and i am at amy's pre operation weight. At that time i was 275lbsish. I just want to get to 270 so i can get my own insurance, which would be really nice. Follow up next week with you guys. Yeah i am getting there!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Thursdays Weigh in 297.7
1.3 lb gain. but i know it because i cheated. I had a fun time, but its a good reminder that i cant change what i eat or i will gain. I know it sounds silly that one day can impact your weekly outcome, but when i weighed myself on Sunday i was back at 307.4. Alcohol drinks make you retain lot of water. And then the bite sizes brownies and chips and dip i had at the party also added into that. But now i am back down to 297.7. I told kins that on Thursday i would still be a pound over. that's what happened last time. I just need the reminder every now and then. Thanks Eliece for telling me you view my blog. Its nice to know that i still have a hand full of people who follow. Kins, Elise, Heather and Jen are my biggest followers, they give me phrase every week. The first couple of months were rough, but i think i have it now. :D 130 more to go, doesn't seem so far away now.
Friday, May 22, 2009
thursdays late weigh in. 296.4
Yeah another 2 lbs. I just need to keep going, sorry i didnt post till friday. Work kept me all day.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
thursday weigh in 298.7
hahahahah i did it, under 300!. 298.7 now. i am so freaken happy! lost 51 pounds in 5 months. i still have more to go, but one mountain down 130 more to go. when that number is below 100 i have to lose that will be another mountain. so 270 is my next goal. 240 is another one, 220 and then 199. So breaking it down for goals. thanks for the support everyone!!!!!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Thursdays weigh in 304.6
So another pound. Anyways when i got sick this last week i got down to 303.2. Man that sucks. That would have been nice if i stayed there. Atleast i am still losing. Plus I found where i am having my reception at! I am so excited. I really thought i was going to have to deal with a very cheap looking wedding. Which isnt bad, i would really love to have a wedding outside but jp wants to have it in october. So i would have had a normal wedding at a church. Which if some of you dont know i live out in utah. so it wouldf be an lds church. Not saying that there is anything wrong with that religion, Just saying they all look the same. I am a New York girl and i want the nice big wedding. I am spoiled, but i relize i dont want to start my marraige in the poor house. The one place i looked at they gave me a proposel and it was 4500. ouch, i cried but then got up and found a place that looks just as nice. Miss you Elise!!!!!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Thursdays weigh in 305.9
See getting closer. Sorry but i have to make this quick today. But i didnt hit my goal of under 300 by the end of this month, but i have still lost 5 lbs in the last month. So yeahhhh.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Thursdays weigh in! 310.5
ok so up two pounds. At least i am not back at 350, right! That's truly my attitude right now. Anyways i am kinda stressing about the wedding and money issues. Grrrr, why cant we all be rich. That would be great! If any body has some great advice on how to be thrifty, i really need some help! Talk to you guys later.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
thursdays weigh in 308.2
yep 2 pounds this week. next week i am going to start weighing in the morning. I do weigh more in the morning, just slightly. This morning i was at 308.9. so .7 lbs this morning. But its ok, i will deal with the slight increase. But i am still losing. oh yeah i am getting married October 10th an i need to lose 3 more dress sizes to fit into the dress i want. they start at a size 20 and stop at a 16. but i can get there. Happy birthday Kins. Cant wait till Saturday for the party.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Thursdays weigh in! 310.6
so another pound bites the dust!!!!!!! I really want to lose the 10 pounds before the end of the month but it doesn't look like it will happen. This past week i worked my butt off, everyday working out. Thanks to Kins i realize i have been looking at things the past last little while in the wrong way. I got upset cause i tried to run as fast as i could for as long as i could and i only ran for 6 1/2 minutes straight and only got .42 miles. I was looking at this as ouch, not any good. But she brought me back to earth and related it to how i was doing four months ago. Which is great! Anyways, i will be working out more, I have been sticking with the diet and no problems. Just a lot of i wants but i know they aren't good for me. 40 more pounds and i can get my own insurance instead of works crappy insurance. that's one of the biggest reasons i wanted to lose weight, other then feeling better and being healthy. I know this time is different and i can do it. thanks!
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Thursdays weigh in! 311.8
So that's right i lost a nice 3.2 pounds. I worked my butt off and really wanted to lose 5 pounds, but that's ok. I am really trying to work hard on losing weight to get under 300 lbs before the end of April. I was tired of not losing enough weight. I know why i wasn't losing weight like i was in the beginning and its because i lost momentum with the work out. So my goal is to work out atleast two hours a day, they work out 6 hours a day on the biggest loser, i can make time to work out 2 hours a day. The minimum i want to work out is an hour. I need to do this, its just the next mountain i need to climb. Anyways, i know i am doing great, i just need to be doing fabulous. I need to do all i can do to be healthy. I have a new weight loss buddy and we are going to walk on Wednesday's around the temple cause of the big hills. And i am thinking Saturdays and Sunday's to walk up the stairs of old main cause that's a pain in the bum. Little things to change, plus all the work out videos i have collected over the years. You would really think i love to work out cause of all the unopened videos i have. :D anyhow I think i am on some type of right track now. Plus i am giving myself the encouragement i need. I know i can be 175 in a yearish if i just keep on truckin, and work on the things that i need to because its only me that is holding myself down.
picture- august 2004 Las Vega's for my 21st b-day. 280ish lbs
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Thusdays weigh in 315.00.
So yeah i have lost, and i am retaining water this week also (if you know what i mean). so don't be shocked with next week if i lose 3 or more lbs! Anyways, i could have gotten rid of more weight if it wasn't for the disruption in my schedule. I didn't cheat, but i ate after 8 due to getting off of work at a late time. But it could have been worse i could have gotten of at the 10 pm shift. so anyways my thing is routine, routine , routine. I don't do so well with the whole changing of shift, at least not for now. But it was only a four day thing and Nathan has me back on Am! So Freaking happy now that i am back. I like learning new things and being over new people because its a growing experience, but i really like my spot on am over one on one. Love that campaign you guys. I know some of you guys have no idea what i am talking about, sorry bout that. But for the ones who know me, they know what i am talking about. O h yeah i am really getting married this year in October. I swear i wont put it off another year guys. I think if i keep losing and feeling better about the way i look i can go and have the big wedding i want. Thanks Guys!
Picture_Last Tuesday the 17th of march 2009. 317lbs last week.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
317.5 thursday weigh in
Sorry you guy that this one is short. I don't have much time to write about my 2 pound weight gain. My fault though, partied on Tuesday and cheated. But it was well worth it and i haven't cheated since. But i did allot of drinking. I will work my ass of cause now i have lots of morning time to work out. So watch next week will be an improvement.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Thursdays weigh in!!!!! 315.2 and its a gain
315.2 a gain of 0.1 pound. Oh well, i did what i normally do. I guess i need to increase the work outs just a little more. This is my first week to gain since i started but its not a big gain. not even a pound, its ok. this week i will just work harder at it. It surprising how i am not devastated by this. I just wanted to mention a thanks to a big support at work Jody, she has been giving me phase everyday telling me to keep the good work up. She has been doing this since she found out i have been trying to lose weight. Even the times that i said i was going to stick with it and never did she was there to support me and i greatly appreciate it. And a big thank you to you! thanks Jody for being there and not letting me give in this time. I am glad there are people in my everyday life that are that to cheer me on and tell me how much they are admiring how well i have done. The positive reinforcement is great. But Heather you can yell at me all you want because i still need that kick in the butt every now and then. Ok maybe a little more then that, but i still need that also. Thanks you guys.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Feeling a little down in out
So i don't know if i am feeling low about losing weight because i am tired from moving or the stress from work but i really had that bad feeling the last couple of days of just giving up. I haven't given up or given in, just want to veg and eat junk food. I know if i give in i will gain all the weight back, so i don't give in. I am so aware of what i get and how much i eat, that i believe that's why i am losing weight. Because before i would just pick out what looked good and make it for dinner. Now i think about how much calories and fat i am eating. I limit my salt in take. Plus no sweets ( Love my chocolate!!!!). But i know even if i eat something that is low fat and sugar i would eat tons because that's who i am. if i made low fat pudding i would eat all four servings the box makes without even thinking about it. Or if i buy the bag of candy that's no sugar i would wind up eating the entire bag by the end of the day or at least in two to three days. which still isn't that good. That's why i have taken all the crap out. But i miss eating anything and not thinking about it. which i think it sounds crazy when i write about it, but its what i feel. I also keep having crazy dreams about going off my life change, like last night i dreamt about eating a whole bag of laze barbecue chips. And i swear to you i can taste them now, But i know i didn't sleep walk and eat a bag because we don't have that type of stuff in my house.
Also i had a sweet tooth when i went the store the other day and bought honey. For some odd reason i wanted honey and i have been eating like 3 tbs everyday. its like 65 calories for on spoon full. it doesn't fill me up, just makes me satisfied for a second. I know honey is all natural, but is this craving of sugar a bad thing. I know when i quit smoking i craved them every once in a while and i knew if i gave in that i would have to start again. Is the honey going to be my down fall?
Another big thing right now is that i don't have Internet because quest is simple and keeps messing up my work order. I should have had Internet last week! So i don't have my outlet of talking to people online about my struggles or talk on my blog about my worries. Honestly i just want to keep going and Finish what i have started. I don't want to let the weight win, that is my biggest fear. So i have really just been frustrated about life for about two weeks now. The move, not having lots of people to talk to at work because we now only have three people there, quest being simple, and just the everyday crap is getting to me for a second. I cant wait till the dumb snow to go away AGAIN, so i can go walking in the canyon or on Logan trail. It a good way to let go of the stress.
Also i had a sweet tooth when i went the store the other day and bought honey. For some odd reason i wanted honey and i have been eating like 3 tbs everyday. its like 65 calories for on spoon full. it doesn't fill me up, just makes me satisfied for a second. I know honey is all natural, but is this craving of sugar a bad thing. I know when i quit smoking i craved them every once in a while and i knew if i gave in that i would have to start again. Is the honey going to be my down fall?
Another big thing right now is that i don't have Internet because quest is simple and keeps messing up my work order. I should have had Internet last week! So i don't have my outlet of talking to people online about my struggles or talk on my blog about my worries. Honestly i just want to keep going and Finish what i have started. I don't want to let the weight win, that is my biggest fear. So i have really just been frustrated about life for about two weeks now. The move, not having lots of people to talk to at work because we now only have three people there, quest being simple, and just the everyday crap is getting to me for a second. I cant wait till the dumb snow to go away AGAIN, so i can go walking in the canyon or on Logan trail. It a good way to let go of the stress.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Thursdays weigh in!! 315.1
Hey hey hey, I am losing more again. sweet. 315.1. so 3.4 lbs. told you aunt flow and the water had a big impact on last week weigh in. So the count down is now at 45 weeks left. Yeah. So i have lots of new things in my life, new house is the biggest thing right now. Any ways Kins told me to write who is who on those previous pictures between Amy and i. I don't think its really that hard but here it is Feb 26 i am in the brown jacket and the bottom pic i am in the red shirt. Feb 19 i am the one in the back in the brown flower shirt. Feb 12Th the tan sweater and Feb 11 i am on the left in the white shirt.
*PICTURE- Bottom picture in Decmber 2006 ish, Amy had the surgery 2 years before this picture was taken. She was 291 when she had it done and 165 in this picture " lowest wieght she got to". But in this picture i was at least 290-300. The other pictures are right after amy surgery this was in october of 2004 so a month after the surgery, i am in the white hoodie. But i was around 275-280ish. I look so young in this picture i think.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Thursdays Weigh in 318.5
318.5. yeah finally a pound!!!! Plus I have Aunt flow, and i was dumb and drank a whole bottle of water before i weighed in. Oh well, still its a whole Pound!!!!!! I am so happy that i am losing weight still. Bad news though, i am still a liar. since last week i have only worked out twice. So i owe heather $5.50 because i was trying a new way of motivating myself. I told her that everyday i don't work out i would owe her a dollar, and i have to work out for a half hour. so that's how you have the 50 cents in there. I just don't know why i cant get into a good routine. I know i need to work out to lose the weight i want to, but i find every excuse in the book. I know i have to keep working at it, i just don't know why i make silly excuses. This week i didn't make time for it, because i have been moving. But come on, you can always find 30 minutes in your day. How do you guys work in a work out daily? or do you even do that? what motivates people to work out? I know i am on the right track with eating. That i am doing great at, i have no worries about food right now. But again like i said the work out is the second part to losing the weight and being healthy, because 318.5 is not healthy and i need to make healthy who i am.
*picture ( so i heard that allot of you guys like the pictures of Amy and i because its harder to tell Amy and i apart. so here are so more younger pictures of us. Yes after 2002 its alot easier because she cheated with the gastric by-pass.) :) love you guys!!!!!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Thursdays weigh in! 319.7
319.7 so only .03lbs this week. which i am going to stay positive and say its still a loss and i am still losing. just hit that darn little plato. So for the second week we are still at a count down of 47 weeks, but we can do it. Heather i am sorry that i didn't want to answer that i worked out or not....I'm Sorry..... I have just been really down that i am not losing the weight that i was at first. But i know i am still losing weight. Thank you heather for the support and kicking me in the ass today. I am a slacker, that's how i got to be the way i am today. so its really hard to change something after 26 years,but i have been working on it. I am sorry i couldn't keep my promises. This week has been tough, but you know there will always be another excuse. So i promise, i WILL do my best to work out even for just a half hour EVERYDAY. Promise, no lying this time. I have to do it for me though, that's really the only way i am going to change. The texts are really nice. So thank you. Elise you are great to with everyday asking what i ate the day before and asking if i worked out. Thanks you guys. Really i would have given up already without the support. I would normally just let it slid for a week and then tell everyone that i have been off the diet ( life change). that way i didn't feel that bad. I guess i looked at it that way. If no one had noticed that i wasn't doing right for a week, then i was in the clear to eat and do what i wanted. And i would start the darn life change another day. So thank you! Thanks for telling me its not ok to miss three days of a work out. thank you for following up everyday to make sure i ate right. Hey no chocolate in 9 weeks, or soda, chips, candy. no junk food or fast food. Which has been great. REALLY YOU GUYS ARE GREAT.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
thursdays weigh in 320.0
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
This ones for you Carol!
So i have been saying for awhile now that i am going to start waking up and working out in the mornings and at night. Honestly i hate working out on the treadmill for 45 minutes. So i tried on Monday to wake up and work out, which i did but didn't work out at night. Yesterday i just was to tired. so i decided today to start pushing myself( motivating) and i am now working out for my sister who passed away 13 years ago today. So that i know i will really try. So this morning i woke up at 4am walked on the treadmill for 20 minutes. For you that don't know i have to be to work at 5:30, my sleep i love and that extra minute of shut eye is just for me. But again i am working on changing who i am, so this is the next step. I work out on the treadmill almost everyday but i hate going over 30 minutes. But when i got home today i walked for 45 minutes. So i am really trying. I figure as long as i work out a total of an hour every day i should be fine. and if i feel like doing more then i will but an hour is what i am aiming for. Also i am going to start a count down to my ultimate size of 180. so instead of 12 months we are going to count weeks. so i have 47 weeks till i get there if i continue to lose 3lbs a week. I understand i will hit a point where i will stop losing weight and when i do i will stop the count until i start to lose again. But i thought it would be fun, like how you count down to a holiday or time off. Let me know what you guys think. Thanks again you guys.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Thursdays weigh in! 320.5
Ready for this.......320.5. I did it, i really thought this week i was going to stay the same. I am so happy i did lose weight. Which makes this weeks weight loss 3.2 lbs.... a total of 29.5 lbs in 7 and a half weeks. Not bad. Thanks again you guys for the help. I did have a little worry today. I know i have a problem with using food to make me happy. and i saw one of my co-workers eating dove chocolate and just really enjoying it. I really thought to myself "wow that looks so good, and she looks so happy. I wont ever be able to be happy like that again." With further reflection i know that food was a replacement to fill the void in my life that makes me content. But i also know how much happier with life i will be, once i am a smaller size. I hate not going out and doing things because i am afraid of where will i sit, or can i walk with the group and not fill like a fat ass because i am huffing and puffing. I do know that I don't need food to make me happy. Its just who i was. I was the person that had food for comfort. I just have to work till its no longer who i am and learn to work threw emotions like a skinny person. I have to find what it is that they do or think during those down times. Because if they ate what i did when i was upset they would be just as big as I. But i know its a work in progress and i haven't given in, or i wont give in. But knowing that i was even thinking the way i was, really scares me. So i know that a part of me wants to give up, but I am not because a bigger part of me knows that i am doing so well. I know that i have to take it one day at a time and any addict goes threw the same emotions , feelings that i am going threw now. As long as i am honest and realize i still have a problem and not give in, things will be fine. There is no falling off the wagon for me this time. Really it just gets harder and harder to quit every time you try to jump back on the wagon. Don't worry, just letting you again know the truth. I wont give up!
*Picture- Christmas 2007.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Worried
So i am thinking that this week i really haven't lost any weight. OK honestly i have weighed myself and i gained 4 lbs this last week. i think its because of all the change and being sick last week didn't help. I know i have to wait till Thursday but I am really thinking i have gained. I know i will move up and down a little. Anyways i finally started working out again today. That cold really kicked my butt, all i wanted to do was sleep. Jamie C showed me a new site that i am going to track my calories and what i ate for the day. its http://www.sparkpeople.com/. That site is great, it just tracks everything. more motivation you know. Plus Jamie and Keven are really trying to lose weight. Cody stoped texting me my reminders also. I think it just cause he went on vacation. We will see if he starts texting again. Thanks again you guys for all the support. The snow will be gone soon and i can start walking the canyon or Logan trail.
*Picture dec-08, amys christmas party. I hate ugly pictures!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Lots going on
So this week will be fun. Learning my old job again and getting a whole new team. I really have a love hate relationship with change sometimes. But it keeps life interesting. I am also going to start working out at curves this week. Plus i have to look for a second job, so that i can keep my cna licences. I have to work 200 hours before June and i keep putting it off. Plus maybe sometime this month my house will be done and JP and i will move in. So yeah lots of change. But i will stick with my diet and keep working towards my goals. Oh yeah the pictures i have been adding so far don't match up to the dates. Really the reason i have been adding pictures is just to show who i am. Honestly i hate pictures and normally any pictures i find of myself i delete because i hate how big i am. So its another way of me facing the truth. This picture was of JP and i June of 2007 at Disneyland. I had a OK time, but didn't get to ride all the rides i would have liked because of my weight. I think in this picture i was around 230, but don't quote me on that. I also stand behind people allot so the camera doesn't see all of me, you will see that in picture as well.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Thursdays Weigh In! 323.7
Ready, I am now.......323.7 yeah! that means i have lost since last week 3.8 lbs. OK so we are saying four lbs again. come on. But really the best part about this week, i was sicker then all get out. haven't worked out since last Thursday (which i am not saying i am cutting working out, out. ). Also since i was really sick Friday Saturday, Sunday and Monday I also drank Sprite (which i am not going to give in on my diet, i was just sick). So not bad for two BAD things this last week. I was also thinking about changing my weigh in day to Friday since its the end of the week. But thinking more on that we really don't have anything to look forward to on Thursday other then Friday is the day after. but every other day i have something to look forward to: Monday(Hate Mondays, we all do) Tuesday(Standard day) Wednesday ( hump day, middle of week. We made it that far) Thursdays ( humm tomorrow is Friday) Friday( pay day every other week) Saturday ( we get every other one off) Sunday ( rest day)!! So you see i need to do weigh ins on Thursday. Anyways thanks again you guys for the help. Heather and Cody i swear i will work out everyday this week meaning i will start on Sunday( i have to move all of JP's stuff out of his moms) that a work out enough, lots of stairs. See i don't get that work out on the treadmill.
Love you guys!
*Picture August 2008- weight around 340+
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Thursdays weigh in 327.5
I am now at 327.5 yeah! Keep on truckin right. So last week i was at 331. So that means i am losing 1 pound every other day or 1/2 lb everyday. Thanks you guys! I really do appreciate you dealing with me and the support i am getting. I had to apologize to Heather because i rolled my eyes at her when she told me to work out. i was really having a rough couple of days. But thanks heather for being there.
Pictures- Manda and Westons wedding sometime in fall of 2006
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Rough start to this week!
So far this week i have thought about giving up on working out twice and cheating more times then i can think of. Its only Tuesday and i really want to give up just for a day. Which sucks because i know if i keep going i will loose more weight. I have been weighing myself everyday and i think since i lost all that water weight its going to take longer to loose the rest. So i will weigh myself on Thursdays now. i am at 329.90 right now. Any ways i know i am not going to give up, just feeling that at times. Kins always says every time you think of something in the negative, have a positive to back it up. So the Positive I have lost weight instead of gaining. And just a couple more pounds and i will be down one whole size. I know I can put those new pants on that i just bought, but they will be a little tight right now. I hate tight pants! Anyways i will write again on Thursday.
*Picture-Amy and my 25th birthday, Unsure of wieght but over 300.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
thursdays first weigh in 331
So this is my firt Blog, So bare with me while i figure it out. The reason i started this blog was to help me with my weight loss. My friend heather told me to start one and i decied it might really help. I have started a diet on Dec. 8th but cheated on it like i normally do, i mean did. I had a family meeting and told everyone my horrible eating secrets. The biggest thing was when noone is around i cheat, because i would tell myself that if none saw or knew it wasnt cheating. The second thing was i am really scared i am going to be a over weight person that cant get outta bed. Now everyone tells me thats not going to happen but i believe it is more a reality then a nightmare i have. Due to i have gained 80lbs in three years. thats 27 lbs every year. give me another four years and i would be 450 lbs. Yeah stuck in bed looks more likely now huh. So if you did your math correct i started at 350lbs. ouch. and honestly i could have weighed more because i didnt weigh myself till the 15th. But Since my intervention i have been great, no cheating. i talk about it everyday. I also keep telling myself keep going, cause if i give up this time i will die! No lie, dad had diabieties and high blood pressure. Today i am 331, which i have worked my ass off for those 19lbs that really have stayed off. i hit 20lbs last weekend, but i keep fluctuating that darn last pound. My Next goal is 31 lbs to get under 300. I would like to be 240 by the time i get married in october and my big goal is 180-175. So i will keep posting, adding my thought and struggles threw this addiction. I would just like to really say thank you to my friends at work: Elise, Heather W, HKins, Jamie B, and Cody. thank you for the support. Cody is great, he makes sure i work out everyday. Just by a text, but its working so far. I went from only 10 minutes of working out, now up to 50 minutes and 2 miles at2.3 which is fat burning. Thank you cody! So i have babbled on for a long time, thanks kins for this outlet.
*picture-december 25th 2009. wieght around 340ish
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